good lord, it’s been a while.

I committed (at least in my own head) to posting on this site a few days a week. And it’s been almost a month since I last posted. Slacker!

We really need to get the internet up and running on more than one computer. Sharing Firefox with someone who does online gaming means I’m lucky I get five minutes without Big D breathing down my neck. And it’s not the sexy, hey baby kind of breathing either. I do need to give him credit, though – last night he asked me if he could get on for a second and actually waited until I said I was done to assume his default position back in front of the screen. I was very impressed. It’s not easy to wean yourself off an addiction.

Which is what I’m starting to see the four-buck drinks as (notice I changed the title of this blog? Hot chocolate has not entered my mind in weeks… but other warm, expensive drinks have), an addiction. To the idea of treating myself, of deserving a break from the craziness and stress that is my life. It’s not a bad life, but I’m still recovering from the mind-fuck that was 2008. I find myself, on a daily basis, figuring out when I can walk down the block or drive down the street to grab some warm liquid goodness. It really is starting to feel like I have an addiction to coffee porn.

But isn’t that what we all see? It’s ubiquitous. Every celebrity has a cup in hand and maybe subconsiously I want to be like Britney Spears. It’s not that expensive, I can enjoy the little treat, and it’s certainly less expensive than the designer handbag or Mercedes without car seats. Now that I’m trying to be good about our family budget – thanks to a layoff, plans for grad school that are on hold, and my unexpected status as the sole breadwinner, at least temporarily – I’m arguing with myself over whether or not I really need that extra jolt of caffeine. Sure, Britney Spears is famous and drinks a lot of coffee in front of cameras, but she also shaved her head, bared her lady parts to the world, and lost custody of her kids. None of those are remotely appealing to me. So I’ll keep fighting the urge to take five minutes away from work and blow four bucks. I’ve already saved over $400.


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