that poor baby’s butt.

I need to know what goes on and in my family’s bodies. While not a militant organic wacko, I don’t see the point in exposing everyone to pretty colored chemicals when they could, in fact, be eating a genuine piece of food. A little extra moolah at the store so little d doesn’t turn into a tower of high fructose corn syrup is worth it.

With that mindset, I’m having a hard time coming to terms with my diapering choices for miss poopypants. I tried to wrap my brain around cloth diapers and failed miserably – even when buoyed by the pictures of me as a tot playing with the mountain of clean diapers and my sister acting the swami next to me. Tried to go the yuppie halfway of gdiapers and those didn’t work either. Found feel-good disposables at the natural-foods store (“we’ll clog up the landfills just like all the other ones but at least we won’t expose your baby’s cooch to cancerous substances!” Um, excuse me? My baby butt is exposed to dioxin so other diapers can be pure as the driven snow? She’s shitting on them. That’s ridiculous.) but they didn’t work. Leaked almost every time she thought about peeing. I figured the budget wouldn’t really support changing her literally every five minutes. So we use the cancer-causing, landfill-filling, cute-as-a-button-on-the-tush disposables. Grabbed the brand I used with little d and didn’t think too much about it.

Except one day, when we were walking through the Socially Responsible Membership Warehouse and found their main competitors. And we needed diapers. Into the plus-sized cart the plus-sized box goes. Two hundred and twenty-four diapers will last us for a good long while – a week, at least. But then the creeping crud appeared on miss poopypants’ lady parts. At first, we figured it was her diet, sitting too long in the diapers, something. Out comes the stinky white cream, which does little to nothing to fix it. But I just bought two hundred and twenty-four diapers! At a great price! It can’t possibly be the diapers…..

It was the diapers. She’s all cleared up after three days of the original kind. Which makes me again feel guilty as a mom for not knowing that she was allergic to something in the Bad Diapers. Oh, and I’m guilty as a mom for wanting to save money, and guilty as a mom for not wanting to admit that I don’t want to stop using the two hundred and twenty-four diapers I just bought. But I’m most guilty as a mom for not really wanting to know what’s in the diapers that makes her break out – is it the carcinogens the feel-goods referred to on their packaging? Something she’s just sensitive to, like perfume? Or something else entirely? Why am I not rising up against the corporation responsible for hurting my baby’s lady parts?

I’m convinced that if people knew how much they second-guess themselves as parents they’d never procreate.


2 responses to “that poor baby’s butt.

  1. Glad Miss Poopypants is all better! That stinks (sorry) about the diapers, but maybe you could find someone on craigslist or something who uses those and wouldn’t mind taking the rest off your hands?

  2. I could do that… but that involves work!

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